Quiet is rare in my life. My two young boys are frenetic balls of energy, and they are LOUD. They fill most moments of the day with noise - yelling, singing, vrooming, laughing,chattering, fighting, and whining. I try to cherish the little kid noise, knowing that in a heart beat, my home will be too quiet. But there are times when I just long for quiet. To surf the web, read a chapter, even make an uninterrupted phone call. I savor the moments when their mouths are busy eating, or a cartoon actually captures their attention. And bedtime... well, we all know bedtime is the greatest. I'm trying to teach my children that while noise and commotion are fine at times, quiet moments are just as important. There is just something wonderful about a little bit of silence.
So often, it's my own spirit that needs to be quieted. My mind races, ruminating worries and what-ifs and if-only's. I fight with anxiety over things I can't control. I struggle to bring my concerns to His throne and leave them there. I wake up during the night, gripped with fear over some circumstance or trial we're facing, wondering if God can really handle our finances, our future, our children. I wrestle with doubts of His presence and goodness.
In those moments, the Holy Spirit draws near to perform one of his greatest works. He quiets me. He settles my spirit and calms my fears. He reminds me of His long, unbroken story of faithfulness to His children. He reminds me of my part in that story. He gives me strength to keep walking in confidence in the face of uncertainty and adversity.
If I let him.
You see, God doesn't force Himself on us. He pursues us, certainly, with an unrelenting, unparalleled determination. But He doesn't force us to accept His gifts. When I feel stressed out, irritable, angry, anxious - when my spirit is chaotic and disordered and full of noise - I can choose to stay in that place and fret. Stew. Simmer. Or, I can choose to forgive, to release resentment, to take captive my thoughts of worry and fear and turn them over to Him. If I choose to, I can let Him love on me. Comfort me. Quiet me.